


(Un)Breakable

by ShikiRai



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Amnesia, Amnesiac Character, Depression, Don't worry though that comes later, Drugged up characters, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Future Amnesia, Gangs, Human Trafficking, I'm Sorry, M/M, Multi, Oh I just realised I tagged this as rxpe/non con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Our babies are hurting, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Rating May Change, Suicide, Suicide Attempts, Temporary Amnesia, These are just delightful tags I'm adding aren't they?, Updates may vary slightly, by slightly I mean ~~~~~~many months~~~~~~, i guess, prepare for that, sex trade, so uh yeah
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-30 23:30:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6446584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShikiRai/pseuds/ShikiRai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki never had a good life, it was a life filled with pain and suffering. But he clung to a spark of hope that took the name of Nagachika Hideyoshi.</p>
<p>Hide always tried his best to smile for Kaneki's sake, but deep down he was crying. How on earth can one person fix another who was broken from birth?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This story might get depressing so trigger warning for that. Also, I am going to use the word 'f*ggot' in this story, but only to emphasize how utterly awful a character is.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I am not homophobic in any way and I apologize in advance if you get offended by the manner in which the word is used. 
> 
> I do not own any of the characters in this story.

The boy lay on his bed and sighed, why did his life have to be so awful, what had he done to deserve this?

 _It's better to feel pain yourself than to inflict it on others._  The words of his late mother floated back to him.

She was right, instead of any one else being hurt, he should take all of the pain himself. But why him? He cried into his pillow, why should he even try anymore, there was no point to life if the only thing he got was pain.

Perhaps he should just die. No one would be sad if he disappeared.

His phone made a noise from the opposite side of the small and barren room his aunt had "gladly" given him. The boy stood and walked over to the phone and unlocked it.

_Hide : hey u hvnt been in class lately u wnt m notes （＾∇＾）_

Kaneki smiled softly at his friends text as he realized;

_**Hide would be sad if he died.** _

 

* * *

 

Hide couldn't sleep knowing that Kaneki was crying, dying. He barely got an hours sleep each night. Hide rubbed his eyes and yawned, setting his phone down on the sheets after getting a _'Sure'_ as a reply.

"Oi brat!" His mother screeched, "Get yer faggot ass down 'ere and make our fuckin' food!"

Hide sighed at his mothers homophobic attitude and put his phone under his bed. Technically, he wasn't supposed to even have a phone but Hide snuck it by his parents three months ago and has hidden it ever since.

He stood up from the small bed, only needing to take 5 paces to reach the other side of his tiny, dark room.

As Hide opened the door and braces himself for another night of beating, he hoped that maybe, just maybe;

_**Maybe tonight Kaneki won't cry.** _

 

* * *

 

_Two boys, one completely shattered and the other putting on a brave face. This is a tale of their friendship and love. But how on earth can someone love if they are so broken?_

 


	2. 2. The Sun and Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one. I swear these will get longer but I have a lot of studying to do :(

_The raven haired boy cried as bruises formed on his frail body. His mother yelled at him as she repeatedly beat her child._

_"I-I'm sorry. I-I'll l-leave you a-alone. I-I'm s-sorry mummy." The boy chanted._

_Eventually, his mother stopped. She stood and spat down on him._

_"Ungrateful brat."_

_The young boy shook as sobs rattled through his body, blood stained parts of his clothes._

_"Clean yourself up, don't want anyone finding out about this," she grabbed his hair, pulled him up and bent down to his ear, "now do we?"_

_"N-no mummy."_

_"Good. Take a bath and go straight to bed, okay? I love you, Kaneki." She kissed his bruised forehead and left him alone in the dark room._

_I really loved mummy._

 

* * *

 

Kaneki bolted upright, tears streaming down his face for some reason that was, currently, unknown to him. He pulled his legs into his chest and tries to control his erratic breathing.

Eventually, after Kaneki calmed down, he let his mind wander to the times when everything was fine, when his loving, caring mother was alive and his aunt didn't ask for more and more money.

He really missed his mother. She was always so kind to him, making his food and kissing him goodnight.

_And beating you everyday. Yeah, sure, she was 'kind'._

Kaneki simply ignored the voice that constantly told him that his mother was a coward, that she abandoned him.

He let out a sigh and checked the time. The numbers '11:34' shone back at him, he was going to be late for his first class. Kaneki swung his legs down onto the cold floor and scratched the back of his neck.

_I guess I need to go to college today._

 

* * *

 

Kaneki walked through to the Asaoka's kitchen and, as usual, there was a small amount of money carelessly thrown on the side that was supposed to be enough for Kaneki to eat. However, this could buy him a bento box for lunch but not much else. He stuffed the money in his bag and left the house.

It was warm outside, the sun was just peeking out behind the clouds and there was a light breeze. Kaneki supposed it was a nice day, a day that when someone walked out the door they would be filled with joy simply because the weather didn't decide that it was going to drench or freeze everything. But to Kaneki, this was just a normal, boring day, there was nothing in particular to be happy about.

"Yo! Kaneki!"

Kaneki spun around to see Hide jogging towards him with his usual big, bright smile. Kaneki softly smiled at the sight, Hide dressed like a cliche anime character, with a bright yellow and black coat, green shorts, orange shoes, bag and headphones around his neck. He was the literal embodiment of the sun.

"I guess we're both late then." chuckled Hide.

Kaneki nodded and they both carried on walking to class. Hide kept being distracted by different food stands and Kaneki had to forcefully pull him away from them.

"Hide, please!"

"But Kaneki! I'm starving! Pretty please!" cried Hide, this was the twelfth time he had begged him.

Kaneki sighed and checked the time, 12:09.

"Fine, but you're paying for everything." responded Kaneki, "And we'll have to skip the rest of Asian histroy."

Hide grinned and pulled Kaneki in for a tight hug, "You're the best 'Neki!"

 

* * *

 

Hide groaned. His body ached with dull pain as he switched off his alarm, he turned onto his back and stared at the plain white ceiling. Eventually he willed his body to move out of bed before his father woke up, he could really not do with being beaten this early in the morning.

He rushed down stairs as quietly as possible and began to make breakfast. Hide's parents were big fans of western breakfasts so he put some bacon and eggs in a pan and started to fry them. As they were cooking, he grabbed an apple and started to eat.

"Is it ready yet?"

Hide flinched and hastily turned to find his father standing in the doorway, arms folded across his chest.

"N-no, sir." His father glared at him and took a step into the room, Hide backed away, "B-but it will be very, very soon!"

"Tch. Just as expected from someone like  _you_."

He roughly sat down and stared at Hide, who had turned back to the pan and put his barely eaten apple in the bin.

He sighed as tears came to his eyes and held back a sob.

_Just be strong. Be strong for Kaneki._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it even though it was short. Please tell me if anything's wrong with it!


	3. You're Just a Memory Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm so sorry for the wait!!! School literally killed me and I couldn't update but I worked on this chapter when I could. I'm sorry if it's bad or short because I haven't edited it yet, but I'll get round to it eventually.

Hide sat in the park, the stars acting like glitter across the inky sky, the cold concrete pressed against his skin. He let out a breath, turning to steam in the cool night air.

 _It might be a bit obsessive,_  he thought, _trying to fix another when you, yourself, are broken beyond repair._

Hide pulled the old phone from its hiding place, a hidden pocket hand sewn onto the inside of his shorts, and checked the time. He ran a hand over his face in despair, it was only just half-nine.

There were three things that he was distraught at; one, it was unusually cold for this time of night, two, it was past his set curfew, and three, his parents weren't going to be drunk enough to sneak back safely.

He thought over his options, go home and get beaten, go to Kaneki's aunts home, or sleep on the streets. There was only one reasonable option, sleep outside, in the the cold.

Of course this would mean that he would get beaten for hours on end when he got back.

There is simply no correct option here, is there?

He laid back, arms crossed behind his head and closed his eyes.

\--

A twig snapped and Hide jolted awake, frantically looking around him.

Suddenly, brown eyes met grey and the boy froze.

"...Kaneki?"

* * *

_A few hours earlier._

Kaneki was scared. His aunt was extremely drunk and extremely angry. He ducked as a glass shattered above his head, his aunt yelling profanities at him.

Just ten minutes ago, Yuuichi had stolen his phone, downloaded many photos of half-naked men and gave the phone to Kaneki's aunt.

"Of course my sister would raise a fag!" She shrieked, "What with all her babying you and letting you be around that Nagachika boy!"

Kaneki quivered in the corner, eyes wide with fear.

"Get out," she spat, "Pack your bags and leave! I never want to see you again!"

She threw his phone to the floor and slammed the door to his room shut.

His mind was racing, he now had nowhere to go. He had no family left.

Kaneki grabbed the biggest bag he could find and packed his essentials in it. He then tiptoed out of the house and ran down the street, tears streaming down his face.

Kaneki eventually stopped in the middle of an alleyway, slid down the wall and curled up in a ball. He silently sobbed into the dark.

Ghostly pale hands wrapped around his shaking shoulders, purple hair laying on his head.

 _"I guess you should just die, huh?"_ she spoke, _"You are all alone, no one to help you. You are unnecessary."_

Kaneki let out a sob, it was true, what she was saying was so goddamn true.

The woman grabbed his hand and pulled him up out of the alley. Kaneki blindly followed.

 _"Of course, that would leave your little Nagachika all by himself,"_ she sang into his ear, her grip tightening, _"and, perhaps, he might die as well. What would that make the death toll then?"_

"...Four," He chocked out, "it would make four innocent people who died because of me."

The purple head walked to face Kaneki, then bended at the waist and put on a sickly sweet smile, her white dress flowing around her.

_"And do you remember how you killed me, Ka-ne-ki-kun?_

\--

_The young couple laughed as they walked down the street, artificial light barely making anything brighter. Everything seemed perfect._

_"Do you want to sleep over tonight, Kaneki-kun? Your Aunts house is so far away from here, it wouldn't just be right for you to walk so far at this time of night."_

_"A-ah. Sure ----. But I'll sleep on your couch, if you want."_

_They didn't notice the road they stepped onto._

_"No, no you're the guest! We should sleep on the same bed," she pulled his shoulders closer and whispered in his ear, "Ka-ne-ki-kin."_

_The man went bright red, stuttered out incoherent words and took a few steps back, onto the pavement._

_She cackled, bent over double, "You should've seen your face! I was just joking Kaneki-kun!"_

_"O-oh, y-yeah. I knew t-that." He touched his chin._

_The purple head looked up at him and smiled, "Kane--"_

_It was sudden and quick. A car with no headlights on, a drunk driver._

_He could she the terrified look on her face as her body crumpled._

_He screamed. It was his fault. It was all his fault._

\--

"...I'm sorry, Rize."

Kaneki stepped on a twig, the noise startling him. He looked around him, _When did I get here?_

"...Kaneki?

He looked up at the familiar face, wide-eyed and terrified.

"H-Hide?"

Worry etched itself onto Hide's dimly lit face. He started to climb down form the boulder he was sat on.

"Dude, are you okay? You look pale and your eyes are bloodshot." Hide walked over and softly grabbed Kaneki's shoulders, "What're you doing here?"

That's when he broke. His head lay against Hide's brightly colored shirt as he sobbed, his hands grabbing onto the soft fabric.

Hide relaxed slightly, placing his head on Kaneki's head and gently hugging him.

"It's okay," he softly whispered, "You're okay, Kaneki, I'm here."


	4. Author's Note/Update

Okay, so I know you all want a new chapter and I am trying my best to write one that is longer than what I've already written. However, these past few months my mental health has not been great, it's becoming harder to stay concentrated on school or my writing. I'm also dealing with issues with gender and sexuality so my mind is occupied elsewhere.

Hopefully this will all pass and you guys will get a new chapter in September or even by the end of this month.

When the new chapter is up this update may be removed.

I hope you all understand and stay patient.


	5. The Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how late this is! I've been trying to write as much as I can but it's been hard finding the time. But please enjoy my first chapter that is over one thousand (1000) words!
> 
> If you find any mistakes (such as a random / or a number at the end of paragraphs) please notify me so I can fix it!

Hide observed Kanekis sleeping form. To an untrained eye, he would look peaceful, all the stress of yesterday washing away with every soft breath. But Hide could see all the pain, all the anger; the tiny crease between his brows, his position was curling in on himself as if to make him disappear, the occasional tremors that make their way through his body. It was subtle, but Hide could tell. _It's a closeness,_  he thought, _that those who are just friends simply don't have._

 

* * *

 

Kaneki dreamed of his father, his love for books, the way he'd read to him before bed, the way he'd smile every time he spoke, they way he'd laugh at Kaneki's jokes, the way he'd almost always get stains on his shirt when he was eating.

 

They way he's smile every time he hit him.

 

The way he'd laugh as he came at mother with his belt in one hand. 

 

The way he'd get stains on his shirt from our blood.

 

Kaneki remembered how mother slipped a pill into his food.

 

He remember her frantic whispering,

 

_'It's going to be okay now' 'The bad man will leave soon' 'It's going to be okay... Right Kaneki? It is isn't it?! Kaneki?! Don't ignore me, you brat! I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... Don't ever leave me, please...'_

 

Kaneki's parents were reduced to mere shadows in his mind, ever present and looming over his every action.

 

_'Hey, Kaneki!'_

 

_'You look pale, are you eating right?'_

 

_'Do you want to be friends?'_

 

Although the sun shines, the shadows never leave.

 

* * *

  


The sun started to fill the sky with colours and Hide yawned. He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep, how could he when anyone could come and attack them while they slept? Perhaps he was overreacting.

 

Hide wondered why Kaneki was outside late at night. He had not told him what had happened before he fell asleep.

 

Perhaps there was an argument at home, the Asaoka's were an abrasive bunch. _But if there was an argument,_ Hide thought, _then why is he here?_

 

A groan took Hide out of his thoughts, he looked down at the ravenette on his lap and found that there was a steady stream of tears falling from his closed eyes.

 

"Hey, Kaneki?" Hide softly shook his small shoulders, "Kaneki, dude, please wake up."

 

Grey eyes opened slightly, squinting at the soft light of the sunrise. Unknowingly, he snuggled closer into Hide's crotch. A blush spread across his freckled cheeks as Hide tried not to make noises that would give away how awkward this was.

 

* * *

  


"Morning 'neki,"

 

Kaneki groaned in response, and slowly sat upright. His brows were furrowed and he brought a hand to his face.

 

"...Hide...?" He confusedly mumbled, "...Why are you here...?"

Kaneki's frown turned into a surprised expression as his tired brain sluggishly put the pieces together. His grey eyes widened and his mouth formed a soft 'o' shape.

 

Kaneki spun round to face Hide, who was still mesmerised by the defenceless display he had just witnessed.

 

"W-what's going on? Why are you here?" Kaneki frantically questioned, "Why are we outside? Why are you outside? Why are we both--"

 

Hide put his hand over his mouth, silencing the black-haired man.

 

"Stop talking so much," Hide looked into Kaneki's eyes tying to a small hint of calmness in his silver pools, "Do you not remember that we met here last night?"

 

Kaneki furrowed his brows, confusion sweeping over him, /they met last night?/ Memories slowly returned to him, his cousin stealing his phone, glass shards covering his hair, having crude words yelled at him, packing his bags and running, and finally, him coming across a wide-eyed Hide.

 

"Oh..." he whispered, becoming increasingly worried.

 

Hide raised his eyebrow at his terrified expression, "Do-" he took a breath, unsure if this was the right thing to do, "-you want to talk about it?"

 

Kaneki snapped his head up, reluctant tears sliding down his cheeks, "I-I don't k-k-know," he began to shake and brought his hands up to his hair, "I-I don't..."

 

_Pathetic ,_  Rize whispered, _Utterly pathetic. You can't even open up to your most dearest friend? How... disgusting._

 

"Dude?" 

 

Kaneki felt his body being shaken.

 

"'Neki? You okay?"

 

Rize lowered down to Kaneki's ear, _Worthless._

 

"Kaneki!"

 

Hide watched as Kaneki came back to the land of the living and lowered his hands. Hide looked concerned, brows furrowed and eyes full of worry. He gently grabbed Kaneki's hands. 

 

"Kaneki?"

 

Kaneki smiled slightly as the ringing in his ears slowly disappeared, "I'm fine, Hide."

 

Hide didn't look convinced, especially after what he had just seen.

 

"Are you su-" he began.

 

"Hide. I'm fine." Kaneki interrupted with an unsure firmness, as if he didn't believe himself either.

 

Hide retracted his hands and his smile dropped for a single moment. Though, he began to smile a few seconds later, lent back down onto the concrete, hands under his head. He looked very peaceful.

 

Kaneki sighed, turned away from him and Rize cackled, _Now he hates you, Ka~ Ne~ Ki~ Kun~ As if he would want to be friends with someone who just shuts him out all. Of. The. Time._

 

She crouched behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest, her purple hair draped over his shoulder, _You should just join me, it's nice here. No stress, no neglecting aunts and abusive uncles, no hate, it's perfect here!_  Rize put one hand in Kaneki's hair, _It would be better for everyone if you,_  she leaned closer, _just_ , and closer, _died_. 

 

Kaneki's grey eyes widened as he took in a shaky breath. 'Perhaps, he thought, 'it would be better if I-'

 

A grumble interrupted his thoughts, it was accompanied by a soft laugh, "Well, 'Neki , it looks like I'm hungry! Do you want to go for some food?"

 

He looked round to see Hide casually looking up at him expectantly.

 

"Yeah" Kaneki smiled, "sure." 

 

* * *

 

They had walked in a comfortable silence, neither uttered a single word. Until, at least, they had to chose where to actually eat instead of mindlessly wandering through the streets of Tokyo.

 

"So, uh," Hide began, "Where so you want to go?"

 

Kaneki snapped his head round to the blonde boy, who was currently looking extremely sheepish, "I thought you knew where we were going!"

 

"Yeah... No." He scratched his cheek, looking to the side.

 

Kaneki sighed, "I, uh, know this little coffee shop that I've been meaning to go to, but I don't know if they'll be open this early."

 

Hide beamed, "It's worth a shot!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! You can probably guess where they are going next time.
> 
> Come talk to me or just follow me at:
> 
> thetwoleggedtwatmonkey
> 
> On Tumblr!


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